I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
