I'm lost and stupid without you.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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