Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
