I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
