The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
