I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
