Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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