I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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