what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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