READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
