This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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