I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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