He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
