Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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