When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
