Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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