like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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