bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My pussy is not your playground.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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