My Higher Power is John Stamos
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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