im holly from the hills drunk
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
