I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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