ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
