my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
