So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
