he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
