Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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