Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
