it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
