she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
