I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
