I wannas sexs uuuuu
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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