he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
