Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
