dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You're like the curious george of whores
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
