she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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