yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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