And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
