upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
