when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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