I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
