I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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