I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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