my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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