Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
