Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
