when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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