Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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