Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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