Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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