Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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